The top 10 invaluable life lessons I learnt as a child

• Be a little more caring and loving towards your grandmother lest one day a wolf impersonates her and you don’t even notice.
• If you think you are likely to get lost, put more reliable markers along the way apart from food in a forest full of hungry birds.
• When you plan on breaking into a bear’s house, be a little careful with the evidence. Half eaten bowls of porridge, broken furniture and sleeping on their beds after a heavy meal is a strict no-no.
• If your head is an egg then it is highly suggested that you do not sit on precarious walls.
• When you have seven dwarfs as friends, it is advisable to keep one or two at home as body guards, especially when you have evil step mothers with poisoned apples lurking about.
• When your fairy godmother appears in front of you, ask to marry the prince himself rather than asking for shiny shoes and a carriage and then wait for the prince to find your feet.
• Never, ever, put a baby in a cradle on a tree top.
• If you have been cursed and find yourself trapped in a castle, either grow your hair long enough or sleep till your Prince charming comes along.
• A pea under ten mattresses can be very uncomfortable to sleep on.
• No matter how regal an emperor you are, be smart enough to realise the difference between wearing good clothes and no clothes at all.